Welcome…

Firstly, we’d like to give you a very warm welcome to our humble blog.  We are thrilled that you’ve taken an interest in enhancing your femininity and attaining a more excellent, richer and fulfilling life as a woman.  You might be visiting out of curiosity or maybe it’s life-long passion in desiring to become the woman you are destined to be.

Everyday, we clock over hundreds of visitors through from all different walks of life, a broad range of cultures, and hailing from many different countries.  So we suggest before you start digging through our archives why not get to know the author behind this blog (Yes – she’s actually real!) or click over to read our disclaimer (for those who are kind-of a bit unsure about this weird kind of blog).

Lastly, welcome and we hope that you are inspired and blessed by visiting!  Do come again!

Happiness – it’s Your Responsibility

If we were to take a poll of what made people happy in today’s society, the answers would be many and varied.  For some, it depends on a sought-after dream being fulfilled, wealth and popularity or finding the perfect soulmate.  For others happiness is drawn from more simplistic forms such as a giggle from a child they love or the dawn of a bright, new day.

It’s true that so many women today tie their happiness to things that are temporary.  As they meander their way through life they find they are continually let down.  Why?  Well, to be completely honest. . . Friends change.  Dreams sometimes crumble.  A lifestyle can be fleeting.  A relationship may ebb and flow.  A once successful career may collapse.  Even a pair of Louboutin shoes will eventually wear out.

“Joy has nothing to do with material things, or with man’s outward circumstance…A man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched, and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy.”
- William Barclay

But does this really mean that happiness too has to fade and vanish? Absolutely not!  There is no reason why your happiness can’t be elevated by uplifting relationships, achievements, and events for they are so often the greatest sources of joy.  But there must be a foundation stronger and more stable for your own contentment.

The Choice is Yours

“Happiness isn’t something that depends on our surroundings…It’s something we make inside ourselves.”
- Corrie Ten Boom

Ultimately, happiness is a choice.  You can choose to let things, people, emotions and feelings elate your joy or disturb it.  All the happiness that you can ever dream of belongs to you.  It’s in your hands.  You can choose to mold it, shape it, fashion it and multiply it.  Or on the other hand you can hide it, stow it, put it in a dark corner and blow it out.
Whatever your present situation you decide if the outcome is either positive or negative.

Cherish the Simple Pleasures

Life continually gives. Look around you – wherever you are and see how truly blessed you are!   At home?  You have a roof over your head that provides sufficient protection.  In a cafe?  You have a delicious selection of fresh food at your convenience.  At work?  You’re so lucky to have a regular paycheck coming through each week.

I know so many of us (including myself!) take the simple joys and pleasures in life for granted.  Things that come naturally everyday without invitation.

• Waking up to a fresh, new day alive and breathing! No matter what happens in the hours ahead, you can come back to your breath for a sense of peace and presence
• Freedom for faith, religion, beliefs and values of our own choice
• Language to communicate, ideas, plans, dreams
• Your future is completely open, ready to be seized and enjoyed
• Wisdom to open opportunities for us to grow as a person and gain greater awareness and understanding of ourselves and world around us
• A sense of safety that makes it possible to experience love, pleasure, and trust
• Health.  Even if you don’t have perfect health right now be encouraged that our bodies are made to heal.  Learn to cherish your health, preserve it, and when you get sick feel blessed that you will get better.
• You have a purpose!  When our true purpose is discovered we awake with renewed vigor and resolve

The list is endless. . . Really you don’t need much to realise just how blessed we really are from this statistic.

This week rests in your hands.  Yes, challenges will try to steal away your happiness and joy.  Take a hold of it and don’t let it go!  Share it and double the joy!

Have a beautiful week . . .

Words of Wisdom #10

Purpose: shed light, help keep perspective, inspire, energize, or just make one think.

 

Don’t let a bad day make you feel like you’ve had a bad life.
-unknown

The Bible praises givers and scorns takers. Givers give, because they are grateful. Takers take, because their self-centeredness overwhelms any gratitude they might have. Since happiness flows from gratitude, takers-only breed their own unhappiness.
WWNH

Never be ashamed of how you were created.  Because you are born into one skin.  You can scar it, stretch it, burn it, mark it, tan it, and peel it.  But you are always in it so you might as well love it.
-EFL

In life you will realise that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you.  But most important are the ones that bring the best in you.  Those are the ones worth keeping around.
-EFL

The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing.  Growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
-M&AHL

Most of the bad things you worry about will never happen.  Most of the bad things that do happen will have never have crossed your worried mind.
-M&AHL

Whenever somebody discredits you, and tells you that you can’t do something, keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.
-M&AHL

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. . .
-John 14:27

When you’re up, your friends know who you are.  When you’re down, you know who your friends are.
-M&AHL

 

N.B. Many, many thanks to Mark and Angel at M&AHL.
Your wisdom and strength inspires me.

Elegance Round-up #1

Apoligies to Subscribers

…my apologies to those readers who subscribe to this blog and have noticed a few glitches.

I hope to correct these as soon as is possible.  Thank you for your understanding.

How to Develop Poise

One of my biggest hits in my blog stats is the Google search how to have poise or how to develop poise. So in response to the ladies out there I would like to share an in-depth article that will directly answer you question.

Firstly, let’s take a moment to actually define poise as such. The New Oxford American Dictionary defines this beautiful characteristic as “graceful and elegant bearing in a person“; “composure and dignity of manner“; and the last definition is “balance“.

Poise is not something that one can demand of you. It must be your willingness and your choice. It’s an attribute that will flow from your heart – coming from your inward thoughts and transcending into your actions. I believe the most essential element to perfect composure is for one to have the control over her emotions. Take the most elegant, sophisticated woman endowed with grace and dignity but who’s emotions are not restrained? I’m afraid all the former attributes are wasted.

Every decision and every action a poised woman makes shouldn’t be hasty and based purely on emotions rather part of a plan and given thorough thought. If a negative decision has not been given enough consideration in the past and the effects are visible she will take this opportunity to learn and grow. Whatever life throws at her she reminds herself that there is a purpose behind every challenge and a equal measure of strength to overcome it.

This woman should also have a defined purpose in life. She doesn’t meander her way through life aimlessly. She’s focused. She’s on a mission; if not several. Does that mean life’s perfect? Most probably quite the opposite. But it doesn’t phase her. Opportunities and offers may be graciously rejected if they are not within the plan. Although highly focused, this lady doesn’t just have a Plan A. She holds the blueprints for Plan B, Plan C, Plan D right through to Plan Z. Life always won’t go as planned. She may adjust and reschedule accordingly. If she follows an avenue that leads to a dead end – is there time to fret and complain? No way – life’s way to short! Why not try the next street?

One’s outlook on life incredibly effects her poise. How do you view the future? With hope, joy and excitement or does it hold a fear over you? Do you take on challenges with calmness and thought or does it cause you to doubt yourself?

Although, confidence plays a large role in a graceful, poised woman it’s not the ultimate ingredient. Many people will tell you confidence is the first ingredient to a graceful, poised lady. It’s true. If you have confidence you can gracefully hold yourself with strangers and in new situations much more ease. But can you still be elegant with a touch of shyness? My answer is a definite yes. How so?

I’ll let you in on a secret…From personal experience – I’m naturally a shy, quiet individual. My innate desire is to withdraw from big crowds and unknown places. For years I really struggled with building my confidence but I one day realized that confidence wouldn’t just show up on my doorstep one day. Confidence has to be pursued and chased and that’s exactly what I did! I forced myself out of my hometown, traveled across Europe, meeting strangers, working with people who didn’t speak my language, creating new friendships. At 19 years of age I moved myself to a new state, started a brand new circle of friends, attended a new Church, got myself a new job and started studying in a new school. Did I do it all at once? No. Bit by bit, step by step. For example, at school I didn’t start a group discussion in class; I only talked to one new person at a time. I only attended one job interview at a time. Gradually the confidence arose. I was successful at the last attempt why wouldn’t I be at the next one? Remember that “success comes in cans, not cant’s”.

Posture is another essential. People who exercise regularly have much better posture than those who don’t. Here’s a nifty idea of how to strengthen your posture.

If you don’t have great posture, stand up right now. Now imagine that there is a balloon on a string extending from the crown of your head. Imagine that this balloon is pulling your head upwards towards the sky. You’ll automatically stand upright with your spine elongated. Doesn’t this little mind trick work great? If you keep doing this for a few weeks, the habit will stick and you’ll have corrected your posture. Try it! It actually works!

In conclusion, don’t be surprised if you’re noticed. Poise is a rare quality these days and there is nothing more striking than a woman who knows how to hold herself with dignity and ease. Remember the words of Simone de Beauvoir when she stated “One is not born a woman; rather one becomes a woman.”

Introducing the Elegance Round-up

Across the globe, literally in every corner there women who possess an impeccable sense of style and elude incredible elegance.

Today I’m introducing a lovely new column, the Elegance Round-up!

If you share a love for stylish, elegant bursts of couture inspiration keep your eyes peeled for this new column!

It should also be noted that the ideas presented would not be a reflection of the individual but simply a reflection of the elegance and style presented.

Bad Manners – the Biggest Problem Facing Society?

According to a recent survey, bad manners are the biggest problem facing modern society.  Good manners? Well, apparently they’re fast becoming a thing of the past!

Whether you care to agree or not I’m sure you’d no doubt concur with me that commonplace society is not raising the bar – it’s more likely being lowered.

Interestingly enough, ninety per cent of those questioned in the survey blamed the decline in standards on the example offered by parents.

1. Spitting on the street or out of cars.

2. People who try to board public transport before letting others get off.

3. Standing two-abreast on escalators, making it impossible for people in a hurry to move by.

4. Smokers who hold their cigarettes away from fellow companions but allow their smoke to drift towards others.

5. Uncovered sneezing, coughing and prolonged sniffing.

6. People noisily chewing gum.

7. Queue hoppers and line jumpers – wait your turn!

8. Shop assistants who keep talking among themselves or continue a personal phone call while you’re waiting to be served.

9. Prolonged PDA-ing in public.

10. Commuters who take up two seats – one for themselves and one for their bag.  Or young travelers not giving up seats to elders.

11. Motorists who do not return your wave after you’ve let them in a queue ahead of you.

Really, it doesn’t take much to show a little courtesy when you’re in public.  If you have been an offender of one of these (or more!) think of others and you’ll be amazing how far a little respect and courtesy goes!

The Brilliance of List Making

I love lists.  I have made a list for almost everything imaginable.  Lists for shopping, travel, work, gifts, moving, home organization and the common, every-day, wonderful “To-Do” list.

Yes, I admit maybe I’m slightly obsessive about lists but for me having that fantastic list all checked off and the job finished far outweighs a little ink on paper thrown in the trash.  It’s a prop that reduces wasted time, minimizes disorganization and creates less stress by knowing what needs to be accomplished, how and when.

David Wallechinsky, the co-author of The Book of Lists shares how list-making brings order to what may appear to be complete chaos. “People are attracted to lists because we live in an era of overstimulation, especially in terms of information…And lists help us in organizing what is otherwise overwhelming.”

But I must confess, the real attraction to making a list for me is that it helps aid my vice of procrastination.  Especially when it comes to study loads or the heralding of a busy week at work my first point of call is to my to-do list.  Even though making a list does not actually solve the problem of procrastination it’s a strong pointer and reminder of what needs to be accomplished and enables me to tackle the task one aspect at a time.

The Shopping List

Being a real Forgetful Miss, I have found myself pulling into my driveway way too many times having forgotten the milk or bread!  Ah! My way around it?  Make a list.

You’ll retain your focus on the essentials and not spend your cash on unneeded items.  I even know one organized lass who creates her list according to the aisles in the supermarket.  I can’t say I’m that organized but if the sticky-note doesn’t cut it for you then you can even print-out a template for a time-saver.

The Travel Checklist

Be it an overnight stay or a week long vacation for me this is the essential.  I know if I don’t jot down that last minute thought at 2am in the morning I’m bound to be a few hours down the road when I get that light bulb moment!

Here’s a fantastic travel checklist to get you started!

In the Workplace

My day rotates around an online checklist as my day also depends on other’s schedules and timetables.  During the busy time’s it’s easy to forget to order that lunch for the Solicitors or schedule a flight for the Director.  They’re things that you just can’t forget!  So this makes me best friend’s with Outlook Express Calendar which reminds me before the event to order, double-check, email, call or however the project needs my attention.

Making Your List Do-Able

Lastly, I’d like to share how to make you’re awesome “To-Do” list actually do-able.  I guess it’s like most things in life it will need your attention and diligence.  Yet here’s a few things to bear in mind so you can get that list checked of and in the trash in no time!

Firstly, break it down. There is not much point in taking a colossal project and plonking it on your list and telling yourself to get to it.  It just won’t work that easily!  Say, if you’re project is to clean the office, break it down into smaller tasks.  Clean out the drawer, shred the paperwork, break down the files, sort the mail, etc.  Check each one off as you go and you’ll be pleasantly surprised that in no time you’ve actually cleaned the whole office!

Inspirational writer SARK breaks down her tasks into five-minute increments, and calls them “micromovements.” She writes, “Micromovements are tiny, tiny little steps you can take toward completions in your life. I’m a recovering procrastinator and I have a short attention span, so I invented micromovements as a method of completing projects in time spans of 5 minutes or less. I always feel like I can handle almost anything for 5 minutes!”

Secondly, stop looking at the big picture.  Look at what’s right in front of you.  Your list should contain only the next logical action for all your working projects. That’s it – just one bite-sized step in each undertaking.

Thirdly, Remember your “To-Do” list is not a dumping ground for your long-term dreams and ambitions or “one-day’s” it’s focusing on the here and now.  Only put serious commitments on the list that you’ll complete today or this week.

Lastly, remember, the wise words of Sir Edmund Hillary… “You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things… You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals.“

Words of Wisdom #9

Purpose: shed light, help keep perspective, inspire, energize, or just make one think.

A wise woman is ALWAYS LEARNING. She is open to change. She is ready to hear. She pursues knowledge.

Make up your mind that you’re not going to quit until you see the fruit of what God has placed within you.

Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.

What is true happiness? It’s not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

God is more concerned about your heart than your performance. If your heart is right, your performance will eventually catch up.

What’s the definition of progress? When each obstacle is more difficult than the one before, you’re definitely making progress.

Accomplishment and fulfillment cannot be purchased off the shelf. They come as a result of what you’re willing to give.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.

(1) debipearl (2) JoyceMeyer (3) FamousWomen (4) WomenofHistory (5) JoyceMeyer
(6) ralphmarston (7) ralphmarston (8) persdevquotes

Etiquette Refresher: How to eat Soup

If soup is served and it comes in a wide, fairly flat dish, scoop it up by pushing your spoon away from you rather than towards you.  Never put the entire spoon in your mouth – instead, fill a soup spoon to about 75% full, bring it up to your mouth and sip from the side – with as little slurping as possible.

When your soup runs low it’s acceptable to tilt the dish away from you to capture the remnants.  Don’t dispair to leave a small amount in the dish as there is nothing more irritaing than one scraping away at the dish as if it’s the last meal you’ll be eating.

If consommé is served in a cup or a bowl with handles, use your spoon to consume what you can then put the spoon on the saucer, concave side upwards.  Pick up the cup or bowl by it’s handle/s and drink the rest.

Bread served with soup should not be dipped and eaten.  This serves the reason for having croutons (toasted bread cut in bite size pieces) which accompanies soups.

Where to leave your spoon? If the bowl is shallow it’s perfectly acceptable to leave the spoon in the dish facing away from you.  If not, place on the saucer provided.